National Grid Parking Pass (2006)

Five years ago, I wasn’t working at a job that I love like Hope Lodge. I was doing temp work at National Grid, and I was not happy. My job was to send letters to people who were way overdue with their electric bills. But not just anyone – my letters went to the elderly, low-income families with infants, and people with medical conditions. The law in Massachusetts protects these groups from having their power shut off, but only to a certain extent. I sent letters to people who were already struggling with life in one way or another, and remind them that they were way overdue and owed National Grid $1984.52. I could feel little bits of my soul escaping with each one I sent. I understand that someone had to do this job, but I knew it couldn’t be me. I barely lasted 3 weeks.

When I quit, I had no idea what I was going to do. I didn’t want to teach, and I knew I didn’t want to work in an office like National Grid. But, I kept thinking postive thoughts. I kept telling myself there was something out there for me. Then, I found Hope Lodge.

I keep this parking pass right by my apartment door, so I can see it every time I leave. If I’m having a bad Crohn’s day or I have to go shovel 2 feet of snow off the Hope Lodge parking lot, it reminds me how much I love working with cancer patients. National Grid made me feel like I was spreading hurt into the world, and Hope Lodge gives reason to my life. Even though I would never want to work another minute sending overdue electric bills to people, I’m glad I have the experience as a reminder for how lucky I am every day…

Poem from 5/3/06, 12:39 AM

It’s weird when I look back on things I wrote years ago. Sometimes it takes me back to a feeling, situation, and place that I’m very glad I have moved past. And, it reminds me to be thankful for what I have rather than complain about what I don’t have. Poetry has always been an outlet for me to use for any emotional low I’m going through. I’m happy to report that I haven’t written any poems like this one lately…

I see the teachers’ whispers transfer

Down an undefended operator’s line,

It’s the only vision that

Completes these lessons

Of cross-curricular tragedy.

Not a call from any cell

Tells me this disease

May linger

Like my ears ringing of

Faculty room groupthink.

My classroom walls

Are now narrowed to 4 bedposts,

And into this corner

All these words

Have painted me.

Poems from April 4-5, 2006

Well, I thought I had written my “Twinkle” poem exactly 5 years ago today, but I was a day off. Here is the original draft of that poem (I didn’t really change much other than give it a title) which can be found in my books Poems from a Tragic Comic and Episode IV Play – it’s one of my favorites. Also, here are a couple more poems that I did write on April 5, 2006. Enjoy!

Twinkle

If really these are

What count,

Look up at a

Clear night sky,

Across borders and

Plains and

Atmospheric reigns

Runs the shooting silvery

Trail of my limitless

For you.

Unconditionally out

Of control,

Lay back and the sky

Will show,

The unbelievable

Every twinkle

Can add up to...

I wrote "Crepe Place" on this one because I was waiting for my friend Glen at this place by his Beacon Hill apartment when I wrote it. . I believe we watched Josh Beckett's first game playing for the Sox that night, too. Sadly, it's not there anymore and neither is Glen.