Poems from a Tragic Comic Book Cover (2006)

Five years ago I published my first book of poetry, Poems from a Tragic Comic: Surviving cancer, drinking, and women.

My idea for the cover was almost a precursor to this blog, and my sister Carolyn made the idea a reality.

I wanted the cover to be a smorgasbord of events and emotions that captured the kinds of feelings contained in my poems. There are medical things, drinking things, dating things, and sports things.

The BC hockey pieces demonstrate this wide range of emotions in particular. I wanted to include a BC-BU ticket because that rivalry is near and dear to my heart. The BC hockey pictures define the Wide World of Sports tagline “The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat” – they are the sign on the Mass Pike after BC won the championship in 2001, and a picture of the players after they lost the championship game in OT in 1998.

Most of the other items I’ve blogged about already:

1. My Friends in Blue
2. Court Summons from a Best Friend
3. Hospital Bracelets – Cancer and Kidney Stone
4. Note from Suzie
5. Rejection Letter from BC Stylus (which is also included in this book – a promise I made myself when they rejected me)
6. Tragic Comic Note
7. Focusin
8. Note from a Friend
9. Westboro House of Pizza Menu

Eventually, I’ll have to make one huge collage of everything I scan.

More on BC hockey tomorrow…

Mix Tape from Birthday Party in Waltham (3/31/00)

Well even though my birthday was last month, I came across this tape today so I thought I’d share. When I lived in Waltham we had parties, gatherings, and shin-digs, and mix tapes were the way we usually handled the music. I named this tape (one of the last ones I made before I got a CD burner for my computer) SDNY2K to mean “Sad Death Night 2000”. I wrote a poem around my birthday in 1993 called “Sad Death Night”, and it stuck as a theme for my birthdays for a while. Each song and artist has a link to check them out if you want to laugh at the songs I included or enjoy one you haven’t heard in a while. It still amazes me how far technology has come in just the last 11 years.

SIDE A SIDE B

Dammit – Blink 182 Summer of ’69 – Bryan Adams

Falls Apart – Sugar Ray Talk Dirty to Me – Poison

Barrel of a Gun – Guster Jessie’s Girl – Rick Springfield

Everlasting Gaze – Smashing Pumpkins Still Haven’t Found What I’m

Break Stuff – Limp Bizkit Looking For – U2

Sure Shot – Beastie Boys Remedy – Black Crowes

Come Original – 311 Black – Pearl Jam

Wonderwall – Oasis Basket Case – Green Day

Back to Good – Matchbox 20 I Alone – Live

Miserable – Lit Cumbersome – 7 Mary 3

What If? – Creed Slide – Goo Goo Dolls

1-2-8, Do Something Crazy – Tragic Comic – Extreme

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

TRAGIC COMIC Screenplay Original Notebook/Draft (1994)

Crohn’s Disease. Brain cancer. A drinking problem. College women. I was only 20 years old, but these were the obstacles I was dealing with. My feelings were that my life was playing out more like a movie, and my solution was to start writing about it. My hope was that someone struggling with anything similar to me might identify and learn from my battles. These are the pages I started to chronicle my story on back in 1994…

I thought the 1986 World Series was a logical place to start my story. It was the first time in my life that my heart broke. The first time I got so close to a dream I could feel it becoming real, only to have it crushed right before my eyes.

I also outlined the songs that I thought captured certain scenes of my life the best (I later found out you shouldn’t really write songs into a script unless the characters actually hear them – which I worked around). I still think Pearl Jam’s “Indifference” would be the perfect song for the opening credits.

After mentioning the 1986 Red Sox, my hospitalization for Crohn’s Disease when I was 14 was the first scene I could see playing out on the screen. It was something that would affect me for the rest of my life, and the first of several times my life was saved. I was impressed I was only one day off from my actual diagnosis date.

A lot has happened to me since I started writing TRAGIC COMIC back in 1994. Like I’ve mentioned before, it’s time for an update/rewrite. I know what it’s like to go through a lot of things, and I’m hoping my story can help people…

I know what it’s like:

* To be a middle child

* To have an older brother, older sister, younger brother, and younger sister

* To be raised Catholic

* To have Crohn’s Disease

* To be diagnosed with cancer (as a teenager)

* To be diagnosed with brain cancer

* To go through chemotherapy

* To survive cancer

* To have a drinking problem

* To be in rehab because of drinking

* To not have a drink in almost 16 years

* To lose three friends (aged 13, 20, and 31) to cancer

* To feel survivor’s guilt

* To be a special education teacher

* To have an engagement called off

* To be depressed and not enjoy things I usually enjoy

* To have a job I can’t stand

* To have a job I love

* To get hit by a truck while crossing the street

* To be sued by a best friend

* To live with ghosts

* To have a Jewish hero (not Jesus, Jon Stewart)

* To work with about 15 people that lost their battle with cancer

* To wear a different t-shirt every day for a year

I think that should give me enough to make TRAGIC COMIC more of a complete story…

Massachusetts Film Office Rejection Letter (9/1/00)

It was 11 years ago that I completed my first script. I called it TRAGIC COMIC, and it was based on my life from the ages of 14-20. It dealt with the 1986 World Series, my Crohn’s Disease, brain cancer, and struggles with drinking. I started writing it when I was a sophomore in college, but didn’t have a computer and script writing software to start typing it until the fall of 1999.

Back then, the Massachusetts Film Office had an annual script writing contest to promote Massachusetts as a location for filming. The only criteria for entering was that the script had to have a certain percentage of Mass locations. Since mine was 100% Massachusetts, I thought it would be perfect for this contest. The judges, however, had different opinions:

Since completing TRAGIC COMIC, I have since written 5 more scripts. I wrote 2 Simpsons scripts, a Family Guy script, and 2 more original scripts. I think it’s time TC gets a rewrite, overhaul, and update. More on that later…

Tragic Comic Note (2005)

Like my Tragic Comic T-shirt suggested, I identify with this moniker. I don’t expect people to call me “Tragic Comic”, but it does make me smile when it happens. This note was also part of (thanks to my awesome sister Carolyn) the cover to my first book of poetry, Poems from a Tragic Comic.

Life has taught me many things, but of those things one of the most important is to keep laughing no matter what comes your way. Crohn’s, cancer, and drinking are all challenges I faced and still deal with in some way today. What got me through the hardest times was trying to find humor each day – it might have been a funny movie, standup comedy CD, or just making jokes with family and friends; but it all helped me to deal with a less than ideal situation.

So, next time something crappy happens, try to remember the Tragic Comic. Rather than dwelling on how unlucky you are, remind yourself that somewhere someone is worse off than you. Be thankful for what you do have, and find humor in something every day. My name is Dave, and I’m a tragic comic for life…

Letter from Tim, Summer After Freshman Year at BC (With Annotations)

Freshman year wasn’t exactly an easy one for me. I finished my cancer treatment during that first weekend in September and was hospitalized for two weeks in the middle of September. In the second semester, I started my two-year long struggle with drinking. But, I still made and kept friends that put up with my post-cancer/drinking shenanigans and these friends were a huge part of me being able to get through that first year of college. I may have been struggling, but they laughed with me (and sometimes at me). Thanks to all those “Gonzagans” who helped me deal…

Here’s the letter typed with annotations:

Dear Spaz¹,

I have no idea why you owe me $3, but I guess I’ll take it. Although I probably don’t have to worry about money much, because I have a full-time and part-time job. I’m really busy, but I’m so broke it’s not even funny, so it all works out. How’ Mickey D’s?² Are you basically a blimp yet? If I worked there I couldn’t keep myself away from the French fry bin. You must be in heaven. Do you listen to Extreme³ while working? Or watch Boston Bruins games? Does “the doctor”⁴ come in a lot? Holy orgasm man.

There’s not really much going on around here. The first weekend I was back I went to my best friend’s and sister’s school/ We partied too hard – my friend hurled on the front bumper of my car and I spewed (yes, finally) in his bed. We had to throw away his sheets. Much fun. Then last weekend my parents went to Oregon to see my sister and I threw a party @ my house. It was awesome – the best part was that no one that I hated showed up (somebody that you can’t stand always comes). Plus I stayed up ‘til 4:00 AM talking to this chick that I got it bad for. Yes, we just talked. I wished we would have done more, but she’s way out of my league. It’s the story of my life⁵.

Well, that’s about it for here in Wisconsin. I’ve got a top ten list of my own below.

See ya,

Tim

Top ten things I miss about BC:

10. Debbie 5. “Wasn’t it yestaday?”⁶

9. Ji Sue 4. Godzilla Burger⁷

8. Emily 3. Prince of Persia⁸

7. Mike’s daily “shit fit” 2. Chinese Food

6. Pink Floyd – NOT! 1. Debbie (given)

Annotations:

1 – My close friends called me “Spaz” my freshman year, due to my inability to interact correctly with BC women, alcohol, and combining the two. One of my best friends now calls me “Stinky” in reference to my Crohn’s. What can I say? I call ‘em like I see ‘em and I guess I tend to hang out with people who do the same.

2 – I worked at McDonald’s the summer after my freshman year of college. It wasn’t as bad as you might think, but I stopped eating hash browns soon after.

3 – Yup, they were my favorite band then, and everyone knew it. It only took me 17 years to get a “Tragic Comic” tattoo.

4 – A reference to a BC girl I had a huge crush on

5 – Mine too, buddy. I do love how Tim said “not really much going on” and then proceeded to tell me about two apparently raging parties.

6 – Something a girl Tim had a huge crush on said with a very thick Boston accent

7 – A place we loved to go whose official name was Eagles Deli…we called it Godzilla Burger because of the item menu with the same name (a huuuge freakin’ hamburger). We also went to GB when Tim came out to visit last summer, and you can read about that here.

8 – The video game that started getting really popular when we were in college.

I wonder what current college students would think if they could only communicate with their friends during the summer via letters and the occasional long distance phone call...

Article from BC Paper The Heights (November 7, 1994)

I was a junior in college and heading back to my apartment after class. I was glad when the BC shuttle bus stopped at the intersection right across from my apartment. Even though it wasn’t an official stop, none of us students complained to the driver. The bus was stopped at an intersection, and I assumed the light was red. It wasn’t…

When I stepped out into the street, I saw a truck (like a Ford Bronco) less than ten feet away from me. I only had time enough to think “I’m going to get hit”, and then I got hit. I remember the impact and being on the ground. I don’t remember flying through the air – a guy I knew who was a friend of a friend was across the street and saw it happen (He said I flew about 5 feet in the air about 15-20 yards).

When I was on the ambulance, the EMTs were asking me all the standard questions – what is your name, what day is it, etc. I knew what was going on, but when they asked me “Who is the president?”, for some reason I thought I would have fun with them. I knew it was Clinton, but looked at them and said, “Um, JFK, right?” They looked a little shocked, but I laughed and told them the right answer.

When I got to the hospital I tried calling my family to let them know what happened, but the ER phone only allowed you to make local 617 calls. So, I called my roommate Kevin and the conversation went something like this:

Me: Hey Kev, it’s Dave.

Kevin: Hey.

Dave: Hey, I got hit by a truck and I’m in the ER.

Kevin: Very funny.

Dave: No, I’m serious.

Kevin: Ha, ha.

And this continued until I said, “I really need you to call my mom and tell her I’m okay…”

When he finally believed me I asked him if he saw all the fire trucks and ambulances outside of our apartment. “Oh, that was you????”, he replied.

I was only in the hospital one night, and my Uncle told me “We know you have 9 lives Dave, but you need to slow down…” I returned to BC with a sling , a prescription to pain medicine, and a story I would be telling for the rest of my life. When I got out of the bus to go to class the next day, my friend of a friend looked at me like he was looking at a ghost. I said hi to him, and he just stood there with his mouth open. I laughed and asked him what was up. He said, “I saw you get hit yesterday…I thought you were dead!” I casually replied, “Nope, just a broken clavicle. I’m fine.” He got on the bus and was still shaking his head in disbelief.

One more interesting thing happened when I got hit. My friend Andy, who was thousands of miles away studying abroad in Australia, felt the impact. He had a feeling something had happened to someone in his family, and called home to make sure everything was okay. Even after his mom had assured him everything was all right and his Australian friends wanted to head out to a bar, Andy decided to stay in because he still had a bad feeling. I sent Andy a letter a couple of weeks later with a crude drawing of me getting hit on the outside of the envelope. I also included the date it happened, and suddenly Andy’s feelings of dread made sense.

Even though this was the only time I was featured in a Heights article, I did receive anonymous ink a few times in the police blotter. And for the record, I was misquoted about “the bus driver being in a tough spot” and “he shouldn’t have stopped there”. But I stand by my quote: “If anyone should be charged with anything, I should be charged with being stupid.” Someone or something was definitely looking out for me, that’s for sure.

Rejection Letter from Henry Morrison Literary Agency (2000)

When I was a sophomore in college, I started writing a screenplay about what I had been through in my first 20 years of life. It started out with a narrative about the 1986 World Series, and moved on to a trip to the ER, emergency surgery, and Crohn’s Disease diagnosis in 1988. There were also scenes involving CAT-Scans, a brain tumor, and chemotherapy. Another part was about arriving as a freshman in college and finishing treatment during the first weekend. It finished with scenes of things I was struggling with the most my first two years of college: alcohol, crushes on female psychology majors, and a combination of the two.

I called it TRAGIC COMIC, wrote it all out in a notebook, but had no computer to type it out on. And for the record (I know this is unheard of now), I made it though undergrad and getting my Master’s in Education without owning a computer. Like I can say about many things in my life, thanks to Mom and Dad I got my first computer after I got my Master’s in 1999. In the fall of that year, I bought the necessary software (Scriptware)and finally started typing out my screenplay. I finished typing it in early 2000 (You can read a story about when I got pulled over speeding home to print it out here).

After I finished typing TRAGIC COMIC, I sent out a bunch of query letters to literary agencies all over the country. One of those was Henry Morrison, and this is the rejection letter they sent me:

Other rejection letters started coming back, so I decided to hang them up on my bedroom wall. In the fall of 2000 when I was living in Waltham, we had a party on Columbus Day weekend. During the party, one of my friends was sitting on my bed and began reading some of the letters. When he came to this Henry Morrison letter, he read the ending out loud and with disbelief - Something like: “We are receiving between forty and sixty queries a week? WTF?!”

Being the good friend that he was, he decided to take action. He whipped out his cell phone and (being a little too buzzed and not noticing it was on the letter) dialed information to get Henry Morrison’s number. I’m guessing the call was sometime close to midnight, so there wasn’t anyone there. Still, he decided to leave a message on my behalf. After saying something like “I’m calling for Dave McGrath who wrote TRAGIC COMIC”, he proceeded to the part about the amount of query letters Henry Morrison claimed to be receiving. The argument was “Forty to sixty queries a week? Who the f- do you think you are? Steven Spielberg?” Wouldn’t you guess it? I never heard back from Henry Morrison. I’m hoping at least they had a laugh that Monday morning. I’m just glad that I took a picture of my friend making the call:

Some people ask me why I would keep these rejection letters on my wall. To me, they just are just fuel to never giving up no matter what. TRAGIC COMIC may have not landed me an agent in 2000, but I haven’t stopped writing scripts. And this letter is reminding me that it’s about time that I give the TC story another rewrite and update. This time, I can include five more scripts I’ve written in my queries to agencies…