Ivy and Bobby's Celebration Invite (8/13/11)

I really can’t say it enough. The only that really matters in life is the people you have in yours. Although I try to live my life not needing reminders of this, whenever I hang out with my family it is reinforced. Last night was one of those times, and fitting way for Ivy and Bobby to share their marriage with Westborough. There was family, relatives, in-laws, friends, acquaintances I hadn’t seen in years, and people I had never met. There was a lot of laughing, storytelling, hugs, great food, and fun. And there were definitely enough McGraths there to play wiffle…

My Little Buttercup Lyrics and Liz and Matt's Wedding Program (5/16/09)

It started in the summer of 1995. My older brother Jon was about to get married, and my brother Tom, cousin Matt, and I thought it would be perfect to sing this song from Three Amigos. Back then, Matt and I had to fast forward the VHS tape of the movie to the song, and manually write down the lyrics. It was a surprise to most people at the reception, and my brother Jon knew exactly what part of the song was for him.

Even though Matt wasn’t as surprised as Jon, my brother Tom and I knew we had to sing it again. A big difference from when we sang for my brother was I just looked the lyrics up online, cut and pasted, and printed them. We also took a video of my brother Tom and I doing our best Three Amigos performance. Of course, not as good as the original (we didn’t have time to get down the dance moves), but I think we did a pretty good job...

Georgia Wedding Invitation (5/22/11)

My girlfriend and I came down to Savannah, Georgia this weekend for this wedding that she is a bridesmaid in. When I saw the Bruins playoff schedule, I saw that we would be down here for game 3 of the Conference Finals between the Bruins and Lightning. I quickly Googled directions, and found out Tampa was only* a 6 hour drive from here. I told her if the Bruins were ahead 3 games to 0, I would “have to” drive down to Tampa and go to the game. The Bruins ended up losing game 1, so it became a non-issue before we even got here.

We got in last night, and I spent the evening at the bride-to-be’s parents’ house getting to know everyone else that came for the wedding. The house was full of laughter and story sharing, and everyone had a great time. Of course, my girlfriend shared my “I want to go to game 4” story with everyone, and I think the guys understood more than the women.

Tonight is rehearsal dinner time, and the Bruins are going into the 3^rd period tied 3-3 (after having a 3-0 lead in the first period). I’m lucky to have a girlfriend who understands my love for hockey and the Bruins, and I’ll be able to skip the church part of the evening and watch the end of the game. Thanks, Hun!

Looking forward to hanging out with the wedding crowd for dinner tonight, and for all the festivities tomorrow...

Let’s go B’s, strong 3^rd period!!!

* Compared to driving from Massachusetts to Prince Edward Island

Erin's Wedding Invitation

If you know me, you know I don’t really like it when my teams lose. And, I especially don’t like it when they lose badly. Knowing I was going to be in Orlando this weekend, I was worried that I might not be able to find a bar to watch the BC-Colorado College hockey game. Two people at our hotel recommended the Orlando Ale House (a.k.a. Miller’s Ale House), and I was happy when they put ESPNU on a TV that was in a good view from our table. My happiness turned to dread over the next couple of hours as I watched my Eagles lose 8-4, get eliminated from the NCAA hockey tournament, and fail to repeat as Frozen Four champs. Ouch.

Still, I always try to find the good out of everything. I managed to scrape together two good things from last night’s loss. One, BC would have faced Michigan in their next game and that most likely would have made for some “interesting” rooting between my Michigan-born girlfriend and me. So, I don’t have to worry about that. Second, I am going to my friend Erin’s wedding tonight. If BC had won last night, I would have been texting with my friend Patrick to get score updates during the wedding reception while secretly wondering if there was a place close by that had ESPNU. Now, I can just enjoy the wedding without worrying about any hockey game.

This might seem ridiculous to a lot of people, but if there’s an important hockey game going on (Bruins or BC), it doesn’t matter where I am: I will try to make sure I can find out what the score is at any given time. I took a Walkman to my junior prom because the Bruins were playing the Penguins in game 6 of the Conference Finals (The B’s lost by the way).

I am looking forward to Erin and John’s wedding tonight. It’s going to be a great time, and I have no hockey game to worry about!

Invitation to Cousin Matt's Wedding

I was never a big fan of weddings. I didn’t like the idea of spending so much money on an engagement ring, and even more on the wedding and reception. To me, Love was the only thing that mattered, and it’s silly to think that a marriage’s success depends on the ring or ceremony.

I still went to weddings when I was invited, and was honored to be the best man at my older brother Jon’s wedding. The wedding reception was on the of the best times of my life – everyone was happy, we all knew Jon and Jen were meant for each other, and my toast made Jon cry.

Then, something happened that drastically changed my attitude toward weddings. After being engaged myself, my fiancée called off our engagement/wedding. I was devastated and left without her, my apartment, and my job. Then, less than two years later, she invited me to her own wedding. I really didn’t want to be anywhere near a wedding after that.

One of my BC buddies got married, and there was nothing that was going to keep me from that wedding. I was really happy for him and knew he had found the right girl. Still, there were moments during the ceremony when I had “failed engagement flashbacks. I knew I had to move past it, but I guess I just wasn’t ready yet. There were even a couple weddings/celebrations that I was invited to that I didn’t attend.

Cousin Matt to the rescue…

When Matt told me that he was engaged, I was happy and excited for him and Liz. When he asked me to be one of his groomsmen, I was honored and even happier about the wedding.

Suddenly, all of the negativity I had stored up in relation to weddings was gone. I had always thought that my failed engagement was a character flaw and every wedding I went to amplified that fact. Being part of Matt’s wedding made me realize what happened in my past had nothing to do with anyone else’s wedding.

I had a blast hanging out in NYC for all of the “bachelor party” activities and really let go of what was stopping me from enjoying other’s celebrations.

Today is Matt’s birthday, and I was to thank him for unknowingly helping me move past what had been a big emotional challenge for me. Matt is my only male cousin and even though it might be nice to have other guy cousins to hang out with, I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. Whether it was playing “tackle hoops” with Matt and my brother Tom or watching the Pats win their first Superbowl, I cherish all the fun times I’ve shared with “Matt-O”. Every time I hang out with the guy, he makes me laugh. I love to watch sports with him. I hope someday to co-write a screenplay with him, or have him direct one that I wrote. I hope you have/had a wonderful birthday Matt, I love you, and I’m lucky to have you as my cousin.

Wedding Invitation from My Ex-Fiancee

Eight years ago on Valentine’s Day, I asked my then girlfriend to marry me, and she said yes. I’ve never been a big fan of Vday, so I thought it would surprise her and I was right. We were engaged until that July, when she called it off just a few days before I was planning on moving 1200 miles to live with her. It really sucked.

But, I had my awesome family and friends to catch me from the fall. And I also had a sweet grill everyone pitched and gave me at what my friends and I now jokingly refer to as the “Dave’s Moving Away But He Didn’t Party”. I had resigned from my position as lead teacher at a special ed school, so I was without a job. I did end up finding a job, and that job led to my first published book, E-lationship. So it helped me to keep believing (see also Crohn’s and brain cancer) that everything happens for a reason.

I did stay in touch with my ex and we emailed from time to time, but I wasn’t expecting to be invited to her wedding – which was happening only three years after we were engaged. So, I was pretty shocked when I got this in the mail:

I don’t think I emailed her about the invite (I could be wrong), but as you can see from the return envelope, I never sent back a reply. It was tough for me to know she was getting married, but I kept trying to look at the positives. One, it was a good thing that things didn’t work out between her and me BEFORE I moved and BEFORE we got married. Two, it led to me being able to call myself a published author – something I had wanted for a long time. Three, it led me to a very important life lesson:

When things don’t work out in life (whether it’s a relationship, plans, a job), you have two choices. You can dwell on it, be miserable, and hate whatever got in your way, or you can move on. I’ve found that being resentful and hating someone or something or some situation really has no function. Of course there are times to be upset, but staying in that negativity is not going to improve your situation. It’s a lot like cancer. It’s how I dealt with it and how I see many of the Hope Lodge guests deal with it. Yeah, I have cancer and that sucks – but I’m not going to let it get in the way of my life and as much as I can I’m not going to let it dictate how I feel.

I really want a world where everyone gets along. I know it seems impossible, but I think we fight over ridiculous things and hold grudges way too long for stupid reasons. I could choose to let this invitation bother me today, but I don’t. If I want the whole world to get along, I have to include myself in that equation. And if I can’t get along with and be happy for someone I was engaged to, what chance does the world have?

My ex has since told me about her first child, and I am happy for her, her husband, and their new family. This invite may have hurt me when I received it in the mail, but I made the decision to move on. If you’ve had your heart broken recently, you may think this is nuts, but you have to trust me…you can make it get better. Anytime you can decrease the negative energy you send out to the world has to be a good thing, right? I know it feels better to me…